Jim V.
Alcohol can have a devastating effect on a marriage – about half of all couples living with alcohol abuse end in divorce. Married couples where only one person drinks are more likely to end in divorce than when both partners are heavy drinkers, who may be able to share in their negative experiences related to alcohol.
However, if you’re committed to the marriage and want to support your husband, there are some options to explore. Professional support and recovery groups can help you to heal your relationship and guide your husband to sobriety.
If your husband’s alcohol intake is damaging your marriage, you’re not alone. Research shows that drug and alcohol abuse increases relationship dissatisfaction, instability, divorce rates, and verbal and physical aggression in relationships.
Addiction and alcohol misuse manifest differently in each individual, and not everyone’s marriage is affected in the same way. However, there are some common ways your partner’s drinking may damage your relationship and the family unit. These include:
If you are worried about your husband’s drinking habits, there are a few things you can explore. While it is not your responsibility to “fix” your husband, you can support them in making the changes they need to stop drinking and break free from alcohol abuse.
One of the first steps you can take is to open a conversation with your partner about their drinking. While this can be scary, it allows you to show your concern and opens the door to discuss things like professional support.
It’s a good idea to do some preparation for the conversation beforehand – you may like to contact an addiction specialist for advice. You should also:
The best way to help your husband quit drinking is by encouraging them to seek professional help. Alcohol use disorder is a mental health condition characterized by physical changes in the brain that impair control over alcohol use. Quitting drinking usually involves more than just willpower – long-lasting recovery requires addressing the underlying causes of addiction and developing the skills and coping mechanisms to overcome addictive behavior.
The good news is that addiction is treatable and no matter how severe the problem, anyone can benefit from substance abuse treatment. Treatment programs usually offer a range of treatment options, tailored to each client’s needs. They may include:
There are a few things you can do to support your husband in accessing treatment. You may like to:
If your relationship is struggling as a result of your husband’s drinking problem, you may want to try couples therapy. During couples therapy, you and your husband work with a licensed therapist over a series of sessions.
Couples therapy can help you and your partner in several ways, including:
Many couples find themselves in a destructive cycle, where excessive drinking leads to relationship problems, which in turn drive further alcohol abuse. Couples therapy aims to reverse the pattern and enable a constructive cycle where a healthy relationship supports addiction recovery, further improving the relationship.
Couples therapy takes many forms, but it often involves a recovery contract that both partners sign at the start of the treatment program. The recovery contract sets out the responsibilities and obligations of each partner, such as maintaining sobriety or attending recovery meetings. Usually, the sober partner must mark off the completion of tasks at the end of each day.
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Maintaining a close relationship with someone with a drinking problem can be exhausting. You may find yourself feeling frustrated, hopeless, and worn out. For some people, the best option is to leave the relationship, particularly if you are experiencing emotional or physical abuse. If you do decide to stay, it’s important to look after yourself too.
Make sure you practice good self-care routines to take care of your mental and physical well-being. Self-care practices include:
If you are struggling with difficult feelings or emotional turmoil, it’s a good idea to speak to someone about your experience. You may like to confide in a friend, or family member, or seek professional therapy yourself. Remember that what you are going through is hard and don’t hesitate to ask for help.
You could also attend support groups like Al-Anon that are specifically for the family and partners of substance users. Support groups are a place to share advice, learn from others, and find comfort in your shared experience. Al-Anon meetings are self-organized, free, and accessible to all.
If you are experiencing verbal, physical, or emotional abuse, there is support available. Everyone deserves a relationship free from domestic violence and there is never a reason that you should have to tolerate abuse from a partner. You can contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) for free and confidential advice.
If your husband is struggling with alcohol addiction or abuse, contact Cornerstone Recovery today. We offer an expert-led, evidence-based treatment program to support clients to long-lasting sobriety. Our compassionate staff can offer confidential advice on the best way forward for you and your husband and open the door to the family life you long for.
