Guide for the Codependent – Create a Survival Plan

13 Oct

Math-co-dependency

Guide for the Codependent – Create a Survival Plan

(Introduction and Part 1 of 29)

The following pages were created and written by Cornerstone of Southern California’s Family Group members and recovering codependents.

On any given Tuesday night, a Family Group comes together at Cornerstone in Santa Ana. The magnet that attracts these people, from sometimes miles away, is a common malady called ‘Co-Dependency’.

This group comes to have their broken hearts mended. They come to have their faith renewed. They come to have their desperation soothed. They come in search of understanding and strength in dealing with life as co-dependents to an alcoholic or addict (a/a).

Cornerstone staff members are there to give a desperate group members hope and perspective. Our groups always leave with the strength and resolve needed to make it through another week, ’till the next Tuesday night at Family Group.

The things that our staff tell the group are very simple, basic common sense, to the point, and often catchy. Sometimes they are quite blunt. But to this group, they are so visionary, so profane and prophetic that, together, they literally become a framework for survival and stability.

Our staff have another special talent. In the midst of all the heartbreak and pain, we somehow get the group to smile and laugh. Sometimes they laugh at themselves, sometimes at each other. But it is a special kind of laughter that lets the group keep its sanity without going off into a hopeless “never-never” land of craziness.

Cornerstone remembers and thanks Nora Metcalf for starting this wonderful service provided by Cornerstone.

1) Prepare Your Survival Plan

What I want you to do is to work on your Survival Plan. A Survival Plan is not something you do as punishment, but as a way to protect yourself and your family. It should be a plan of what you are willing to do if the a/a chooses to drink or use drugs again. It is what you must do to keep yourself and your family from being drawn back into the “craziness” and “madness” of addiction again. Your survival plan should be in writing; maybe it could even be posted on the refrigerator door. It must be something that is agreed upon by you and your family members. The a/a must know what the plan is and must know that it is serious and is something you are prepared and WILL do if he/she chooses not to remain clean and sober.

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